This blog is part 4 of 4 and was written by Hina Wain, a therapist in training who interned at Centered Therapy Chicago this past year.
Part 4: Why is self-compassion worth it?
Research has found that practicing self-compassion has been associated with
- decreased symptoms of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress
- with increased life satisfaction
- positive relations with others
- wisdom
- personal growth
- happiness
- emotional resilience in response to failure.
These benefits have been studied in individuals who naturally possess self-compassion as a trait as well as among those who practice as a learned approach to be applied over time.
For those who do not start off compassionate with themselves, here are some reframes to consider:
Self-criticism says:
I’m not where I should be with my professional goals. I’m a disappointment to my family. Something is wrong with me.
Self-compassion says:
I have been working hard towards my professional goals, but I may not see the results right now. I want to provide for my family and make them proud because I care about them. It takes time for anyone to reach a more satisfying position in their career.
Self-criticism says:
Everyone expects me to be married with children by now. I must be such a burden to my family. I’m never good enough for anyone.
Self-compassion says:
My family and cultural values place a lot of emphasis on marriage and having children. I feel sadness and shame when I think I am failing to meet these expectations, but I am not sure what is right for me yet. These are big life decisions for us all and it is normal to take my time with figuring out what feels right.
What are the key takeaways about self-compassion?
- Self-compassion is our ability to recognize our own pain, acknowledge its universal nature, and then regard this pain with empathy and kindness
- Three elements of self-compassion include practicing self-kindness, recognizing common humanity, and mindfulness
- Self-compassion is not self-pity, self-indulgence, or excuse-making.
- Practicing self-compassion means not suppressing, exaggerating, or avoiding pain, but mindfully noticing our pain without judgment so that we can repair or correct harmful patterns a form of kindness to ourselves.
- Self-compassion is diversely practiced both across and within Eastern and Western cultures
- Some collectivist cultures may view self-criticism as a form of self-improvement with the use of guilt or shame to promote social agreeableness, but it can come at a psychological cost
- Higher levels of self-compassion have been associated with: decreased symptoms of depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress. Self-compassion is positively associated with life satisfaction, positive relations with others, wisdom, personal growth, happiness, and emotional resilience in response to failure.